Thursday, 24 September 2009

Don't Drink With ...

i watched this and it just killed me.
the guy is good!
could not wait to share.

Wednesday, 23 September 2009

Horse Shit Continues

the drama continues from here.

that same day, after close of work, my phone rang and it was a private number.
i casually picked it and the first thing i heard was "Splash, Splash, a beg no vex"
i was like who is this then the voice struck me.
thing is since he left naija we have not even talked. we just throw greetings through his sis. that kind of thing. no biggie.
at first i was wondering what he was talking about then i remembered.

(i then went on to tell him word for word.)
(you think?)
we sha laughed about it and i told him not to worry. sey the girl never see and she never know.

the next day i replied her mail. i decided to go the way of the Bible. a calm voice ..... harsh..... My people, i no go lie you, fight been dey my body. to tear her from limb to limb but thought more about setting an example. a good one to reflect my kind and gentle nature *evil laugh*
the mail went;


i do not know who you are, but i will explain a few things;

1. your boyfriend has been my friend for over 10 years.
2. i use to date his younger brother and
3. his younger sister is my best friend.
4. we all grew up and lived together in Nigeria for over 10 years!
so cool it!

if you have any questions please do not hesitate to ask me.
i look forward to hearing from you.*

she replied the very same day apologizing for reacting that way and bla bla bla bla. how sh eno be naija so she dey feel uncomfy for e friends side and things. that my choice of words really got to here and so on and so forth.
girls! we too dey get ahead of ourselves
i learnt a lesson here sha. get into ur man and do not be insecure when his old pals come around. enter dem join.

i replied saying no problem. that i just wanted to clarify things put her mind at ease.
she kan sey God bless me.

i'm good.
i got an apology, did it the Christian way and she thinks i'm a good person. which i must say i am (fluttering my eyelashes)

Wednesday, 16 September 2009

Horse Shit!

make una see me see trouble o!
yesterday was a guy friends birthday so i sent him a message on facebook.
the usual " happy birthday love and thing and things"
i get to the office, open my blog page, yahoo and facebook only to see messages from some chic.
i don't even know which one is the chic sef cuz they were 2 in the picture.

on the guys wall where i wrote my birthday message she wrote " how many lovers are u stink!"

i was like which one is this one? well, she was lol abi?

i go to my inbox and a message for just me "I would like to express my deep disgust in you calling my boyfriend "my love "......shame on you and get ur own guy ! Fuck you bitch!"

what did i do to deserve all this unwanted "praise"?
all i did was to wish a dear friend happy birthday and this fool breeds horse shit ideas in her fucking lunatic head? she needs to get a grip!

guy wey i don know since i dey secondary school. i must tell him this. ask him about who the hell she is.
my friends call me bitch and i call them bitch too and we laugh about it cuz it's a joke to us. then one nonsense person wey i no know kan dey talk crap.
her mama!

in other news...

i have lost a lot of weight. works a mega bitch. try going hungry i guess.
i need more money. don't like what i'm getting.
well...all in due time. i mean "what's A plan without a plan B?" ;-)

i miss my brother. he is growing up without me kicking his ass once in a while. not fair :-(

had a lot of doctor issue this past 2 weeks. sucks!!!
Not good news from my Dentist. filled some teeth.
well... not so bad news from my Orthopedist sha. after the next set of xrays we'll know.
i am healed in Jesus name. please forgive me for swearing and dem other bad bad things.
please pray for me guys.

i need to get out more. make new friends. dance. chill. eat something new. try other new things. enjoy life...
wey the man na! *sigh*

Wednesday, 2 September 2009


calculate and show working;
310 x 6 = ?
this was the Saturday question of the century.
you sure se you sabi this method???

on Saturday i went with a friend to get her hair done somewhere in Lagos Island. as i waited for her to dry her hair a lady of about 29 years came over to ask the hair dresser the mathematical question above.
help me see answer o!

100 for 3 places na 300
this 300 for 3 places na 900
another 100 for 3 places na 300
this one 300 for 3 places na also 900
10 for 5 places na 50
10 for 1 place na 10
so we go get 900 + 900 = 1800
50 + 10 = 60
everything na 1,860

they then turned to me and asked "aunty abi?"
i said "yes"
clap for me!
i too much jo!

i guess she too much sha. that journey to solve the question was really testing.

we should thank God for the education we got o!
what would they have done if they had to calculate 33,895.52 x 13?
that one, we for sleep for there.

Wednesday, 26 August 2009

Prison vs Work

i know a lot of you guys have seen this before. still had to share.

Prison vs. Work...

In case you ever got the two mixed up, this should make things a bit more clear....

IN spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell.
AT spend the majority of your time in a 6x8 cubicle.

IN get three meals a day.
AT only get a break for one meal and you pay for it.

IN get time off for good behavior.
AT get more work for good behavior.

IN PRISON...the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT must carry around a security card and open all the doors for yourself.

IN can watch TV and play games.
AT get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON... you get your own toilet.
AT WORK... you have to share the toilet with some people who pee on the seat.

IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT can't even speak to your family.

IN PRISON...all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required.
AT get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

IN must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK... they are called managers.

Friday, 21 August 2009

A Drag

work has literally become a drag.
i've become mechanical.
have a lot of filing to do but i just don't give a shit about that these days. so i'm operating on organized-disorganization. at least i know where most things are. :-)

hmmm, i so so want out, it's driving me nuts.
to make matters worse, more responsibilities are about to be added unto my small head.
i'm going on leave jare!

i just wish i could get more makeup jobs to occupy myself with and get lost in the madness of a show or a photo shoot. i miss the days of Deal or No Deal. fantastic madness.

TGIF but then Monday is fast approaching

Thursday, 13 August 2009

Please Say A Prayer

This is a very serious post guys.
i just had to find a way of letting it out and also getting in more prayers.
a friend, was diagnosed with CANCER earlier in the year. all resources and funds are being thrown in to save her life.
initially, when she went for some test on her own, the doctors did not tell her she had cancer. WTF didn't they tell her for? this made me very angry when i heard. aren't they the ones screaming early detection could save your life. msshhheeewwww!

so they find out she got the disease and everyone in the family is raking in their savings and asking other friends and family to support so as to fly her to SA to have the operation done and start treatment. she seemed fine and came back. continued chemotherapy.

last night, while having dinner on the dinning with my mum sitting opposite me saying her prayers, i get a call from my sister telling me that the cancer has spread to her spinal cord and she is in fucking pain and finding it hard to walk.
to walk! just to walk! things that we take for granted.
now they are looking for at least 2 million naira to have another operation done.
see as money dey yap man! it breaks my heart.
i am currently having cash flow issues cuz salaries have not been regular. that gist is for another day.

my sister asked if my mum could get assistance from our church by way of offering but my mum told her the plain truth. the church would take time as there are other appeals from other parishioners. CANCER is a fucker and fucks people over, leaving the family emotionally and financially drained.
as a trained and qualified midwife and theater nurse, she went further to explain that the management and care of cancer is expensive, horrible and devastating and that most times there is really no use. she wouldn't like to use the words waste of resources but it usually is, though some time could be bought.
i could see the hurt & pain in her eyes.

there are times doctors just speak with the families and tell the horrible truth.
but one can not sit still and watch your loved one writhe in pain!
there was an episode of Grey's Anatomy, where one of the interne's dad had the thing. he was told it had gone too far. if they operated it might not be successful and he might loose his life. they went ahead to operated and he still died.
i remember watching clips of Farrah Fawcett during her final days, going in for chemotherapy , writhing in pain and still praying the rosary. it was hard.
the Lord is our Healer and Strength .

dinner from then on was difficult. na cry mode i almost enter.
we talked about it and we both remembered when i discovered a lump in my left breast during my final year in university.
yes, i have had a lump removed.
then the awareness was not as it is today. or we were just naive.

God, was i scared.
i noticed it, i think, when taking a bath. i knew it wasn't normal cuz it didn't feel normal. i mean i could hold the sucker.
i went to a friend and told her to feel it. she screamed " Splash, this is big!"
i nearly started crying cuz i thought my life was over. i had to tell my mum over the weekend.
but first, i said i had to party just in case na the end be this o!
immediately she felt it on Saturday, it was hospital on Monday and operating theater on Tuesday. i was back in school by Friday.
the lump was tested and found not to be cancerous. Thank GOD!
but that dose not mean the coast is clear. i still have to examine my breasts on the regular. i'm even still scared doing that.

i know that people have fought and won. there in lies the hope. i continue to pray people fight and win.
it's by God's grace. all things through Christ Jesus.

Cancer is a devastating thing to happen to anyone. you never know till it hits close to home. a church member, colleague, a friend, an aunt, uncle, brother, sister, mum, dad, daughter, son ... the list goes on.

please, please and please remember her in your prayers. even if it's just in passing.
i feel so sad about this that it's bringing tears to my eyes but my tears can't dull the pain.
oh, this life is too deep! too deep!

Wednesday, 5 August 2009

Huffing and Buffing

Found out Tuesday that my OM traveled without notice. emergency they said.
my ED sends an email that all issues should be channeled to and through me.
when i read the email i was like *WTF is this?! i no want o!*
don't get me wrong, i'm not one to run away from responsibilities. i try to embrace them.
THIS is different!
in fact when she called on the day i did not want to pick up the phone cuz the woman na fire! when you don't think you've done anything wrong she somehow, onekind comes up with something.
ok, i pick the phone and she starts with questions;
1. is the office generator up now? - yup, got the technician to resolve the issue. paid him some cash. will document for refund.
2. what's up with QGH? - i run off my reply. the reply plenty.
3. what are the arrangements for Engineers? - brief run down.

we end with the usual *if anything comes up i'll deal with it*

i won't lie, my OM needs the escape. the stress her no get part 2. if dem wahala me too much me sef go take of go Abuja.

After the email was sent round, someone made a comment that had a lot of hidden meaning. strange behavior then followed. she became some worth hostile towards me. i shook it off cuz i know how not to let somethings bother me. we sha ended up exchanging strong words and me telling her never to come to me for anything!

meanwhile i was dealing with issues pertaining to our guest house which had to do with heavy charges or have your electricity disconnected.
no one is allowed to have a private gen set. there in lies the problem.
our expatriate staff live there and this is unacceptable.

then i get a call that some our engineers who went offshore are returning that very morning and logistics should be put in place to facilitate their return to base. no e dem kan talk sey dem no fit fly. sey dem need to rest, see MD & collect cash for some expenses they had to incur. mean while i had another pick up to do and na oyinbo. they sabi nag.
*we have only 1 driver at present so we have to plan movements carefully*
but this oyinbo is ok sha. for now that is.

on a happier note...
i got a call for a makeup job. white wedding for next month. she said she saw my ad in the free publication, we have discussed and we are good to go. even given a cheque. now that's the way i like it.
yyyeeeahhhhhh! na small small.
Father i thank you.


Tuesday, 21 July 2009

Bold Faces

Very high fashion.

Do you dare?

The future of our art.
This is my dream, my passion.
The face can be given all kinds of looks but the art of making ugly art look elegant, is a true gift.

Friday, 17 July 2009


is there a word like that?

Thursday was the worst kind of experience i have ever had when it comes to Lagos traffic. i left the office just after 5pm and did not get home until past 10!
at least thank God i was not driving if not i for park for one side of road.
it was horrible.

to make matters worse there was a lady and guy sitting behind me who were just talking and talking and going on and on about people in the office. i think she had a particular biff for a fellow lady worker. kai! she finished the poor woman.

their conversation began right from sitting down till the end of the journey.
yes, journey cuz that was what it was. gosh, i wanted to tell them to just shut up!!!

to make matter worse again they started complaining about some very loud ibo boys who were doing the exact same thing. talking and bitching about everything and everyone.

people. perfect people.

looking for a good tagline for my business and an ad i want to put up in one of these free publications. Just a start there. this business must grow in Jesus name.
it's not just sounding right.
i need to consult. this is fun sha.

i hail and respect people in advert companies. clients coming in screaming "i want something different. something never heard or seen before. e no easy.

this my job don dey tire me no be small. tension everyday. on top what now? the job just sucks this morning big time. time to pray harder. all my efforts in other areas must come to pass in postive flying colours. MUST!

attended a wedding in IB on Saturday. it was nice. but Ibadan don change o! they now have chicken republic. we past 3 on our way in. that is good. aaand listened to Rick Dees on our way out. that was good too. i love me my Rick. lol.

i hear Adam Lambert, my idol, is already recording his first single and it being done with the producers of Lady Gaga's album. i am too sure we will be getting some amazing sounds. the guy CAN sing and they produce fat beats. so... you do the maths. i wish him all the best. i will buy his CD.

i need a change of career. time to live out my dream. my passion. stay tuned for clips of that.

on a last note, i think i'm falling again :-). the battle has begun.

Wednesday, 1 July 2009


this is what you get when you rely on meeting people on the internet.


Friday, 22 May 2009

Cruel Joke

So, i practically flew home yesterday to watch the idols grand finale. weaving in and out of traffic like the cops were after me. got home, checked fuel level, put the gen on.

Was enjoying the show. Wow, what a show it was.
Adam was in top form. i mean like mehhhnn... the guy can sing.
His performance with Kiss was off the chain.

Ok, so we get to the part where Ryan announces the winner and as Kris and Adam are holding on to themselves not knowing who'll be the next Idol for 2009. i mean already knew who the winner was but i wanted to experience the crowds reaction. See their looks of surprise and the rest. Just live the moment.
As Ryan was saying "and the next American idol is..." the next thing i saw was "E16 you are not enabled to view this channel or your account has been suspended. please contact the call center for assistance".

WTF! we had paid the subscription. we no owe DSTV na. unbelievable!
i was dumb struck for like 2 mins just steering at the screen. Flipped to other channels, nothing! The red light was on like a traffic sign "STOP". Shit. This can not be happening. we had paid the subscription. we no owe DSTV na. unbelievable.

i call my girl, "J, is your DSTV showing?" she goes "yes, Adam is singing right now".
i could kick someone.
O well, how i go do? i went to the 70s Classic Rock to down my sorrows cuz there was nothing else to do.

This morning someone described me as Risqué.
i find that very strange.
At first i did not know the meaning talk less of understand fully.

Googled it and i got this;

indecent, erotic, ribald, off-color, indelicate, salty, earthy, racy, spicy, suggestive, lewd, sophisticated, adult, naughty, having a double meaning, with a double-entendre, bawdy, improper, coarse, broad, daring, provocative, offensive, salacious, unprintable, not for mixed company, not for Sunday...

Hazardous; risky; esp., fig., verging upon impropriety; dangerously close to, or suggestive of, what is indecent or of doubtful morality; as, a risqué story.

Isn’t that plenty? This definitely could have been milder.
The guy then said it was not so bad. He just meant very interesting.
I have never seen myself in that light. Still don't.


Thursday, 21 May 2009

America has voted

I am so stunned.
I’m like ... what happened?
This can not be happening!
But it has happened!



He should have won!
I felt him all the way. Every time he opened his lipstick covered lips, I’d be waiting not knowing what to expect, spell bound when the words finally come forth.

This was the best season ever as the contestants showed talent, creativity in interpretation and genuine love for music in the way they wowed the audience with their performances.

This expresses my thoughts perfectly.

This doesn’t mean Adam won't be a star. I believe he will be a star.
He is every song-writers' dream. His natural ability to interpret song was unmatched through out the competition.

Rock on Adam, i will definitely buy your CDs. no doubt.

Friday, 15 May 2009


it,s 8:15pm on a Friday night and i am still in the office.
better today than Monday,

my mind is tired.
brain tired.
belly hurts. cramps.
legs hurt.
eyes hurt.
fingers hurt.
the music is helping sha. always does.
still have to get to Banana Island to pick up my friend and she is hungry too.
can't stop at any eatry to buy anythings. time factor.

Wednesday, 22 April 2009

The Bridal Shower

My friend's getting married this May and as usual, (sing along with me), a bridal shower we must attend.

So, i thought and thought and thought as to what to buy her but the only item that came to mind was lingerie and I was only too sure that that’d be what she’ll be gifted with mostly.

A few weeks ago someone blogged about sex toys and that woke my brain up. I remembered accompanying a friend to a lingerie store and in the course of looking at each and every item they had to offer I stumbled upon some very interesting items.

I saw a silver opaque bottle, thinking it was like some fragrance thingy I picked it up to get a wiff. 0n reading the bottle it turned out to be a sensually wicked fantasy massage oil. Hmmmm! I liked. Going on I saw more interesting item like candy cock rings, nipple lick’ems and jelly willies. Also candy bikinis and bandages. Items nice enough to spice up any wedding night/honeymoon.
Decided to give her the oil cuz I did not want the guy ingesting anything that might affect him in any way.

As I though, tons of underwear but the gift I liked most was a book. I’m sure you’ve all guessed right. Yes “The Kamasutra”.
Applauds to the clever and thoughtful chic. She is definitely invited to my bridal shower. Though my friend is deft and well knowledgable in loving positions.

After the winning and dinning and games and gisting it was all over.
No freaking strippers!
I have never had the experience/pleasure of a live performance. It probably was a good thing cuz of late I’ve had sex on the brain.
I sleeping, I see images.
I wake, I remember.
At work, colleagues talk about sex.
Nothing passes them. . Sex is a hot hot topic it’s hilarious. There is always some pun. Say a word, phrase, sentence or make a sound and they will gladly interpret for you in colorful ways that will leave you blushing. The worst of them all are the married women.
Isn’t there any escape!
I am trying to stay clean here people!
Is there a crime in not having any in a while? But I must admit my stress level has been PRETTY HIGH of late.I guess I just have to count sheep.
annoyingly, our HSE Manager sent out like a bulleting thingy on work stress. and one of the ways of releaving stress is by making love.
He just had throw that in.
Apart from listening to music or singing that sounded like the ticket.

it's not that bad.

Tuesday, 21 April 2009

So Far

It’s been a craaaaaaazy few months. i have not had time for myself and so many other things.
During an interview, when you are asked "what are your strengths?" i bet one of the things you said was "i am a self-motivated individual who can work under pressure and have the ability to multitask."
Boy was that put to the test these past months.

I have learnt to over multitask, over cut expenses, over motivate myself and those I supervise. It has not been easy. The crunch is really crunching on my ass in more ways than one. As we Christians say “I am rich.” Abi?

Something has been on my mind for about a week now. But let me ask this question. How would you feel if someone you dated at some time in your life and well, loved passes away?
I don’t think people think about this at all. I mean after he/she breaks your heart your friends tear the person apart all manner of sepe follows the person cuz they are trying to console you and all that.

Just this weekend my sister calls me up informing me her that her ex in Uni past on. He was married with a daughter barely 1 year old. What happened? Leukemia happened. At the age of like 31-32.
I remember him to be a very intelligent guy. A very funky & geeky guy. He loved his technology. He helped us assemble our very first PC. He was cool but it did not work out. I liked him. So now he is gone.
What does it mean?
What if she had married him?
Widowed that early?
Would she have been left alone with a child to look after?
Only God knows the answer.

Tuesday, 20 January 2009

Whose Birthday Is It Anyway?

very good question.

it's my birthday!!!
yeah, i am 28 today and history is being made.
an Afro American is being sworn in as the president of the US of A!
yeah, you all know that but it's ABSOLUTELY MASSIVE!!! MAD!!!

my blog birthday was on the 16th.

totally forgot.

so i have 2 birthdays and a HUGE event in history to celebrate in January.

my older sister and younger brother had theirs on the 12th. on the same day!
don't ask me "how come?"

got home a bit late yesterday and found a cake baked by mum waiting for me.
she had a very busy day but still found time to squeeze out to bake me a birthday cake.

now that is love.

this year must be different.
i feel stronger, wiser and more of a go getter today.
almost like my big bro B. Obama ;-)

to all who have already called and sent messages, both home and abroad, thanks for keeping me up alllllllllllllll night!

love you all. na una don dey my back. u've never failed me yet.
this cake represents how i feel right now. musical.
there is small yawa in the office sha and a meeting is to be held by 1pm to discuss the issue.
i am dressed to kill, not in my bday suit, sorry. so, dressed to kill in my new outfit and shoes and looking smashing, my confidence level is at an all time high.
lets pray it stays that way.

Friday, 2 January 2009

The Resoluts

ok, i have reflected, someworth though, the happenings of 2008.

jan 2008 was to begin on a good note.

in December of 2007 i got 2 job offers that left me confussed as to which to pick. well i picked the one with more cash and perks. so off to a new job jan 2. i was then called to resume on 7th instead. i was like more blessings so i flew to Benin to spend time with my boyfriend cuz he could not come home during the chrismas holiday.

it strated out great and then started to behave like a very confussed graph. up then down then up then down. the fights were so annoying. i wished i had not gone. it was just shitty. the making up was coooool but at the end of the day it left me thinking.

well i did think and decided to stick to my man. every relationship's got it's ups and downs. right???

well it ended. maybe i did not make much of an effort. "as he said". watever. all i'd say is trust is very important no matter the size.

that aside.


1. Pray more
2. New job
3. Socialize more
4. Read 1 self improve book every month
5. Save more and spend judicously
6. Be softer. my friends bro calls me a guy. Find love/boyfriend/relationship
7. Eat healthier and drink more water (no more carbs and sweet drinks)
8. Cook more

there are others which are like capital projects. even i'm scared.
but thats the point. right. we should challenge ourselves.

strength Lord. strength