Don't Drink With ...

i watched this and it just killed me.
the guy is good!
could not wait to share.

Horse Shit Continues

the drama continues from here.

that same day, after close of work, my phone rang and it was a private number.
i casually picked it and the first thing i heard was "Splash, Splash, a beg no vex"
i was like who is this then the voice struck me.
thing is since he left naija we have not even talked. we just throw greetings through his sis. that kind of thing. no biggie.
at first i was wondering what he was talking about then i remembered.

ME: WHO BE THE GAL? NA UR GF?
GUY: YES. A BEG NO VEX. NO MIND AM. I TOLD HER NOT REPLY THE WALL MESSAGE BUT SHE NO GREE HEAR.
ME: HA, THAT MEANS U DON'T KNOW ABOUT THE PRIVATE MESSAGE SHE SENT TO MY BOX?
GUY: WATIN SHE TALK?
(i then went on to tell him word for word.)
GUY: KAI! SEE EHN... I'M NOT EVEN PICKING HER CALLS.
ME: IS SHE A NIGERIAN?
GUY: NO. ANOTHER AFRICAN COUNTRY AND SHE IS NOT IN THE UK RIGHT NOW. SHE'S IN ANOTHER PART OF EUROPE.
ME: DO U REALLY LIKE HER?
GUY: YES
ME: OK. I WILL SEND HER A MESSAGE TO CLEAR THIS CRAP UP.
GUY: THE GIRL JUST MESS UP.
(you think?)
we sha laughed about it and i told him not to worry. sey the girl never see and she never know.

the next day i replied her mail. i decided to go the way of the Bible. a calm voice ..... harsh..... My people, i no go lie you, fight been dey my body. to tear her from limb to limb but thought more about setting an example. a good one to reflect my kind and gentle nature *evil laugh*
the mail went;

*woman,

i do not know who you are, but i will explain a few things;

1. your boyfriend has been my friend for over 10 years.
2. i use to date his younger brother and
3. his younger sister is my best friend.
4. we all grew up and lived together in Nigeria for over 10 years!
so cool it!

if you have any questions please do not hesitate to ask me.
i look forward to hearing from you.*

she replied the very same day apologizing for reacting that way and bla bla bla bla. how sh eno be naija so she dey feel uncomfy for e friends side and things. that my choice of words really got to here and so on and so forth.
girls! we too dey get ahead of ourselves
i learnt a lesson here sha. get into ur man and do not be insecure when his old pals come around. enter dem join.

i replied saying no problem. that i just wanted to clarify things put her mind at ease.
she kan sey God bless me.

i'm good.
i got an apology, did it the Christian way and she thinks i'm a good person. which i must say i am (fluttering my eyelashes)

Horse Shit!

make una see me see trouble o!
yesterday was a guy friends birthday so i sent him a message on facebook.
the usual " happy birthday love and thing and things"
i get to the office, open my blog page, yahoo and facebook only to see messages from some chic.
i don't even know which one is the chic sef cuz they were 2 in the picture.

on the guys wall where i wrote my birthday message she wrote " how many lovers are we......lol u stink!"

i was like which one is this one? well, she was lol abi?

i go to my inbox and a message for just me "I would like to express my deep disgust in you calling my boyfriend "my love "......shame on you and get ur own guy ! Fuck you bitch!"

what did i do to deserve all this unwanted "praise"?
all i did was to wish a dear friend happy birthday and this fool breeds horse shit ideas in her fucking lunatic head? she needs to get a grip!

guy wey i don know since i dey secondary school. i must tell him this. ask him about who the hell she is.
my friends call me bitch and i call them bitch too and we laugh about it cuz it's a joke to us. then one nonsense person wey i no know kan dey talk crap.
her mama!

in other news...

i have lost a lot of weight. works a mega bitch. try going hungry i guess.
i need more money. don't like what i'm getting.
well...all in due time. i mean "what's A plan without a plan B?" ;-)

i miss my brother. he is growing up without me kicking his ass once in a while. not fair :-(

had a lot of doctor issue this past 2 weeks. sucks!!!
Not good news from my Dentist. filled some teeth.
well... not so bad news from my Orthopedist sha. after the next set of xrays we'll know.
i am healed in Jesus name. please forgive me for swearing and dem other bad bad things.
please pray for me guys.

i need to get out more. make new friends. dance. chill. eat something new. try other new things. enjoy life...
wey the man na! *sigh*

Calculate...

calculate and show working;
310 x 6 = ?
this was the Saturday question of the century.
you sure se you sabi this method???

on Saturday i went with a friend to get her hair done somewhere in Lagos Island. as i waited for her to dry her hair a lady of about 29 years came over to ask the hair dresser the mathematical question above.
help me see answer o!

100 for 3 places na 300
this 300 for 3 places na 900
another 100 for 3 places na 300
this one 300 for 3 places na also 900
10 for 5 places na 50
10 for 1 place na 10
so we go get 900 + 900 = 1800
50 + 10 = 60
everything na 1,860

they then turned to me and asked "aunty abi?"
i said "yes"
clap for me!
i too much jo!

i guess she too much sha. that journey to solve the question was really testing.

we should thank God for the education we got o!
what would they have done if they had to calculate 33,895.52 x 13?
that one, we for sleep for there.

Prison vs Work

i know a lot of you guys have seen this before. still had to share.

Prison vs. Work...

In case you ever got the two mixed up, this should make things a bit more clear....

IN PRISON...you spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell.
AT WORK...you spend the majority of your time in a 6x8 cubicle.

IN PRISON...you get three meals a day.
AT WORK...you only get a break for one meal and you pay for it.

IN PRISON...you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK...you get more work for good behavior.

IN PRISON...the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK...you must carry around a security card and open all the doors for yourself.

IN PRISON...you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK...you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON... you get your own toilet.
AT WORK... you have to share the toilet with some people who pee on the seat.

IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK...you can't even speak to your family.

IN PRISON...all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required.
AT WORK...you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON...you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT WORK...you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

IN PRISON...you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK... they are called managers.

A Drag

work has literally become a drag.
i've become mechanical.
have a lot of filing to do but i just don't give a shit about that these days. so i'm operating on organized-disorganization. at least i know where most things are. :-)

hmmm, i so so want out, it's driving me nuts.
to make matters worse, more responsibilities are about to be added unto my small head.
i'm going on leave jare!

i just wish i could get more makeup jobs to occupy myself with and get lost in the madness of a show or a photo shoot. i miss the days of Deal or No Deal. fantastic madness.

TGIF but then Monday is fast approaching
arrgggh!

Please Say A Prayer

This is a very serious post guys.
i just had to find a way of letting it out and also getting in more prayers.
a friend, was diagnosed with CANCER earlier in the year. all resources and funds are being thrown in to save her life.
initially, when she went for some test on her own, the doctors did not tell her she had cancer. WTF didn't they tell her for? this made me very angry when i heard. aren't they the ones screaming early detection could save your life. msshhheeewwww!

so they find out she got the disease and everyone in the family is raking in their savings and asking other friends and family to support so as to fly her to SA to have the operation done and start treatment. she seemed fine and came back. continued chemotherapy.

last night, while having dinner on the dinning with my mum sitting opposite me saying her prayers, i get a call from my sister telling me that the cancer has spread to her spinal cord and she is in fucking pain and finding it hard to walk.
to walk! just to walk! things that we take for granted.
now they are looking for at least 2 million naira to have another operation done.
see as money dey yap man! it breaks my heart.
i am currently having cash flow issues cuz salaries have not been regular. that gist is for another day.

my sister asked if my mum could get assistance from our church by way of offering but my mum told her the plain truth. the church would take time as there are other appeals from other parishioners. CANCER is a fucker and fucks people over, leaving the family emotionally and financially drained.
as a trained and qualified midwife and theater nurse, she went further to explain that the management and care of cancer is expensive, horrible and devastating and that most times there is really no use. she wouldn't like to use the words waste of resources but it usually is, though some time could be bought.
i could see the hurt & pain in her eyes.

there are times doctors just speak with the families and tell the horrible truth.
but one can not sit still and watch your loved one writhe in pain!
there was an episode of Grey's Anatomy, where one of the interne's dad had the thing. he was told it had gone too far. if they operated it might not be successful and he might loose his life. they went ahead to operated and he still died.
i remember watching clips of Farrah Fawcett during her final days, going in for chemotherapy , writhing in pain and still praying the rosary. it was hard.
the Lord is our Healer and Strength .

dinner from then on was difficult. na cry mode i almost enter.
we talked about it and we both remembered when i discovered a lump in my left breast during my final year in university.
yes, i have had a lump removed.
then the awareness was not as it is today. or we were just naive.

God, was i scared.
i noticed it, i think, when taking a bath. i knew it wasn't normal cuz it didn't feel normal. i mean i could hold the sucker.
i went to a friend and told her to feel it. she screamed " Splash, this is big!"
i nearly started crying cuz i thought my life was over. i had to tell my mum over the weekend.
but first, i said i had to party just in case na the end be this o!
immediately she felt it on Saturday, it was hospital on Monday and operating theater on Tuesday. i was back in school by Friday.
the lump was tested and found not to be cancerous. Thank GOD!
but that dose not mean the coast is clear. i still have to examine my breasts on the regular. i'm even still scared doing that.

i know that people have fought and won. there in lies the hope. i continue to pray people fight and win.
it's by God's grace. all things through Christ Jesus.

Cancer is a devastating thing to happen to anyone. you never know till it hits close to home. a church member, colleague, a friend, an aunt, uncle, brother, sister, mum, dad, daughter, son ... the list goes on.

please, please and please remember her in your prayers. even if it's just in passing.
i feel so sad about this that it's bringing tears to my eyes but my tears can't dull the pain.
oh, this life is too deep! too deep!